FREE INTIMACY PATTERN ASSESSMENT
Are You Ready to Be Touched Without Bracing for Impact?
SOUND FAMILIAR?
You're with someone you love. Someone you trust. And the moment intimacy begins, something shifts. Your body tenses. Your mind leaves the room. You go through the motions or you pull away entirely. Afterward, you can't explain it. You just know something's wrong. And you're starting to think it might be you.
Answer 15 questions to discover your intimacy pattern, understand the hidden wiring running the show every time someone tries to love you, and get a clear next step to reclaim closeness on your terms.
77%
of survivors experience intimacy challenges, even in loving, trusted relationships
Most
believe something is "wrong with them" when it's actually a nervous system pattern
3 min
to finally understand what's happening — and get the language to talk about it
HERE'S WHAT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Your body isn't betraying you. It's trying to protect you.
The pattern that keeps repeating.
You want closeness. Your body says no. Maybe it freezes. Maybe it dissociates goes somewhere else entirely. Maybe you push through, performing intimacy while feeling absolutely nothing. Every time, you end up feeling more broken than before.
Your next step, without the overwhelm.
You don't need to dive into years of therapy to understand what is happening. You simply need a starting point, a name for the pattern, and a clear picture of what your body is doing.
This assessment gives you that in 3 minutes, not 3 months.
This isn't about judging you.
There are no wrong answers. No grades. No diagnosis. It is just a clear, compassionate mirror that helps you see what your nervous system is doing. You can stop guessing and start moving forward.
THREE INTIMACY PATTERNS
Which one sounds like you?
After 10+ years of working with survivors, these three patterns emerge again and again. Your body chose one to survive. Understanding which one is the first step to changing it.
Your walls go up the moment things get physical. You withdraw, go numb, or avoid intimacy entirely. This happens even with someone you deeply love.
FEELS LIKE:
"I want to be close but my body won't let me"
Going numb or disconnecting during intimacy
Feeling safest when there's distance
Finding reasons to avoid physical closeness
PATTERN 1
Guarded
You can get close, but only to a point. Then the brakes hit. You run hot and cold. Your partner is confused. You are exhausted from the back-and-forth.
FEELS LIKE:
Wanting closeness, then suddenly needing space
Overthinking every touch, every move
"Why can't I just relax?"
Performing instead of being present
PATTERN 2
Cautious
You engage in intimacy, but you are not really there. It is a pattern of going through the motions. You act from obligation, control, or habit. It is not desire.
FEELS LIKE:
Being physically present but emotionally gone
Using intimacy to feel needed or in control
Feeling empty or detached afterward
Saying yes when you mean nothing at all
PATTERN 3
Open
YOUR RESULTS ARE INSTANT
What you walk away with.
No waiting for an email. No funnel. The moment you finish, everything appears.
1
Your Pattern — Named
Guarded, Cautious, or Open. Finally, language for what's been happening.
2
Why Your Body Does This
A clear, human explanation. Not clinical. Not scary. Just clarity.
3
3 Personalized Insights
It is specific to your answers. It reveals the behaviors, the triggers, and the hidden strengths.
4
One Clear Next Step
A single, compassionate action to take today. No overwhelm. Just direction.
YOUR GUIDE
Avis Littleton, MDiv, AMFT
A trauma-informed therapist who has spent over 30 years walking with survivors through the hard, complicated places where closeness feels impossible.
✓
30+ years supporting survivors
✓
Specialized in trauma + intimacy integration
✓
EMDR-trained · Somatic Experiencing
✓
Master of Divinity Vanderbilt University
FROM PEOPLE WHO TOOK THIS STEP
They started where you are.
"I took this at 2am because I couldn't sleep after another difficult night with my partner. The results made me cry. For the first time, what has been happening made sense."
— Kimberly M
Guarded Pattern
"I showed my husband my results. We had the most honest conversation of our marriage. He finally understood it wasn't about him. We booked the consultation together."
— Teresa B.
Cautious Pattern
"I’ve done a lot of important work in therapy, but this 3-minute assessment gave me the specific language I was still searching for. It articulated my experience perfectly."
— Angie J
Guarded Pattern
Questions you might have.
READY ?
You've been carrying this alone long enough.
15 quiet questions. 3 minutes. The pattern that has been running your intimacy is named, explained, and met with a clear next step. No judgment. No pressure. Just clarity.
What exactly is an "intimacy pattern"?
It's the way your body and mind automatically respond when someone gets emotionally or physically close to you. Most people develop these patterns after difficult experiences and don't even realize they're running on autopilot. You might shut down, pull away, people-please, or feel nothing at all. None of that means something is wrong with you. It just means your system learned to protect you and never got the memo that it's safe to stop. This assessment helps you see your pattern clearly so you can actually do something about it.
Is this assessment really free?
Yes. Completely free. No credit card. No catch. You answer 15 questions, you get your results and a personalized next step. That's it. We built this because most people struggling with intimacy after trauma don't even have language for what's happening to them. This gives you that language in 3 minutes.
Is my information private?
100%. Your answers are confidential and will never be shared publicly. We take this seriously because we know how personal these questions are. You won't see your results posted anywhere, and nobody will ever know you took this unless you tell them.
What if I'm not sure this applies to me?
If you've ever felt yourself tense up, go numb, or want to run when someone gets close to you, this applies to you. You don't need a diagnosis. You don't need to have it all figured out. The whole point of the assessment is to meet you exactly where you are and show you what's actually going on underneath the surface.
